Love, life, and passion (part 2)

I guess its finally time for me to actually use this blog for what it really initially intended for. I need a place to finally speak about issues and hopefully find some peace in my life. I have been depressed for quite some time now and actually contemplated giving up on life. I will be the first to admit that I have had an extremely blessed and fortunate life. I was brought up in a family where I had both my parents and also a lot of contact with my mother's side of the family.

Warning: this blog will contain what some may find boring and non arcade related so read on at your own risk.

My late father was a Caucasian male of Scottish descent and my mother is Asian of Chinese descent. Being a child of mixed ethnicity was not so much a common thing during my youth and led to many issues for me growing up. I mentioned earlier that I grew up surrounded by my mother's side of the family because my father's side was basically racist and looked down on my parents and I. I vaguely remember attending a wedding when I was roughly 5 or 6 years old and being viewed awkwardly while my mother was pointed at and mocked on numerous occasion. Then there was a big fight between my parents and I believe my father completely separated himself from his side of the family. I honestly believe I grew up a racist due to being attacked cause of my own ethnicity. During the early 80's everywhere was predominately white in California. Things have come a long way in terms of cultural and ethnic diversity since then. Funny thing is, as a kid growing up I was attacked for being non-white, but as I grew up, I started to stand out cause I was half white. Sorry for the dragged out racial talk here, I promise I will get to the point soon.

The FGC is a very special community where race really doesn't play a factor on how you are viewed, where as your skill is what shows your worth. I can honestly say that I finally matured and got over my racism issues through playing Street Fighter and being involved in competitive gaming. Through gaming I also dropped my ignorance and fear of gay people and learned to accept people no matter their race or sexual preference. This community is really a place where people can better themself and learn so many things. Not only does gaming allow you to excel in dealing with the pressures of competition, but it also puts you into this giant melting pot where you can interact with people from other cultures and backgrounds and learn so much from them.

I'll leave you with a quick story on the subject since it seems appropriate. I will keep this person's name anonymous but for those in the socal scene it's pretty obvious. I still joke to this day about this with him so hopefully you guys get a chuckle out of it. Back in the day when AOL Instant Messenger was the thing, I used to chat with this dude here and there and I've known him since he was maybe 10 years old. So one night out of nowhere I get this message "yo Watson, guess who I like?" In my head im thinking.... uh... wtf? There really wasn't any girls in the scene so maybe this fool was gonna tell me something like Britney Spears or Jennifer Love Hewitt.... NOPE. He sends me this awkward ass picture of LL f*cking Cool J. Wtf? Like literally, a picture of this buff ass black dude with no shirt on and all oiled up showing off his pecs.... huge shocker out of the blue lol! But, I will never forget this moment cause this was the day I got over any issues I might have had with gay people. He basically had the courage to tell me he was gay and asked if my opinion of him changed or if it would affect our friendship.  On that day I came to the realization that there was absolutely nothing wrong with that and I was just being ignorant towards something that i wasn't. I want to thank this person for opening my eyes and making me a better person. I greatly respect this person and consider him a friend to this day, and for what it's worth, he's a total beast at fighting games and easily an all time top 10 fighting game player. And no, it's not Ricki Ortiz haha, although I respect her and her achievements and as much as I hate it, she was my favorite rival during the 3rd Strike era.

Thank you all again for reading. Next chapter..... trouble in paradise....

Life, love, passion (part 1)

Hello again everyone and thank you all for sticking with me. So many things have happened and so many huge changes have occurred since my last entry on here so I really don't know where to start. For those of you who have a good memory, I mentioned early on that I was a very private person and always kept my feelings and personal life extremely private and unless you were in my inner circle, you would really only see of side of me. This blog all started when times were getting a little tough and I needed an outlet to keep myself from going crazy. In a sense, it gave me a chance to breath and vent. An opportunity to do something and make myself a better person.  It also gave me a chance to personally and publicly thank a few people who supported me and my business when we needed it the most. Hell, I was even able to make a few public apologies and had a couple "My Name is Earl" moments. That's a TV show for those of you wondering wtf I'm referring to lol.

As a grown man, I have made many mistakes. But as a grown man I am now able to realize those mistakes and grow from them. I have lived a very fortunate life and have always had much love and care from those who are around me. I was never the type of person to jump in and out of friendships or relationships, and I valued loyalty to an extreme. I would go out of my way to help my friends and family but there was always a limit. I have my mother to thank for my stubbornness yet caring personality and I could never thank her enough for everything she has sacrificed and done for me for my entire life. I also have my father, who passed away when I was only 21 years old, to thank for keeping me in line and being stern with me when I was on the brink of becoming for lack of better terms, a f*ck up. My father served in the military for over 25 years and sacrificed a lot for our country and my family.

Ok, here comes the explanation as to why I labeled this as "part 1" of the blog entry. For those of you looking for updates on the arcade or some current Fgc drama, this isn't the entry for you. This portion of my blog will take you through the ups and downs of my life leading up to the biggest fight of my life in keeping Super Arcade alive.

Life truly is all about perspective. When you're young you take things for granted and you do things without thinking about the long term consequences and negativity you might create. I used to think and feel like the world was against me, and when I succeeded at something it was all about me. Now I can honestly say that I see everything in a different light. Over the past 5 or 6 years I started to look at things from an entirely different point of view. I put myself in the shoes of others and realize things are not what they seem. When you're in survival mode your mind and thought process can cause you to act completely out of character. When your back is against the wall, this is the time where your true heart and grit are tested. As cheesy as it sounds, the real reason I'm still in this fight to keep my dream alive is not because of me. As a fighting game player I have had my moments of glory, as a business owner I have also had my time, but as a person, I needed to finish my dream.

Without sounding arrogant or self centered, I believe Super Arcade achieved many things so far. We were a launching pad for many communities, we allowed players to have a home and grow as not just players and gamers, but also as humans. In attempts to not drag on and on and get to the point, I just want to provide more people with the opportunity to shine and be something. I want to give the community a place to play and just be themself. I want for everyone to have a place they can do what they want and achieve their goals without having to put on an act just to fit in.

Thanks for reading and I'll be back soon.